January: BBC Today programme announces appointment of ancient Mayan racing tipster; Muffin the Mule arrested as Jimmy Savile enquiry enters new phase
February: Silvio Berlusconi re-elected Prime Minister of Italy; satire officially declared dead
March: Shock in Parliament as someone says “I agree with Nick” for first time since 2010 leaders’ debates; Tories blamed
April: New press regulator starts work; all newspapers lead on story of successful lambing in Northumberland
May: First woman bishop enthroned after surprise Synod vote; cathedral rocked by estimate for new curtains on all stained glass windows
June: Queen celebrates 60th anniversary of Coronation; Prince Charles wins Network Rail Lifetime Achievement Award for world’s longest wait
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| Frankly any excuse will do for a lovely picture of the Coronation |
July: Duchess of Cambridge gives birth to a son; feminists demand urgent recount
August: New Bank of England Governor Mark Carney completes initial review of books and returns to Canada, saying he may be some time
September: Alex Salmond slain as local toddlers’ Flodden 500th anniversary re-enactment gets out of hand
October: Last Newcastle public library closes: Tories blamed; Lit & Phil announces first-ever waiting list for membership
November: After knife-edge vote, US Congress approves far-reaching ban on personal ownership of bazookas and howitzers
December: Bankers earn record bonuses; MPs claim record expenses; Tories blamed
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Originally published in The Journal, Newcastle upon Tyne.
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