Showing posts with label age. Show all posts
Showing posts with label age. Show all posts

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Might opera contain the secret recipe for everlasting life?

When I first attended the Buxton Opera Festival in about 1990, I remember looking around the theatre and realising that I was almost certainly the youngest person there.

It was therefore somewhat disturbing to have a virtually identical experience on Saturday evening, diluted only by the presence of the comparatively youthful Mrs Hann.


We were attending a performance of Ottone in Villa by Vivaldi, arguably his earliest opera, first performed in Vicenza in 1713. (I write “arguably” because there is some evidence that he wrote an opera in 1705 under another composer’s name, like J.K. Rowling in reverse.)

I could not help wondering, admittedly rather uncharitably, how many people in Buxton Opera House could remember the premiere.

The problem with early opera, which I adore, is that the contemporary public may find it a bit dull. The singers tend to come on in turn to belt out their individual numbers, in which the words of each aria are typically repeated several times.

We know that Venetian theatres of the time kept their audiences’ attention engaged with a range of ingenious special effects. Nowadays directors tend to do it through costumes (or the lack of them) and dance.

Having the lead soprano and a number of attractive young hangers-on disporting themselves in bikinis certainly kept me awake even in the searing heat of last weekend, but it won nul points from my geriatric companions, who could be heard at the interval loudly condemning the production as “absolutely disgusting” and “very, very silly”. Though I noticed that hardly any of them were appalled enough to miss the second half.

Perhaps frequent attendance at an opera house is a key to longevity. (Sceptics will doubtless contend that it just makes your life seem longer.) However, I do begin to see why theatre managements are so obsessed with trying to draw in younger punters, through initiatives such as English National Opera’s unappealingly named “ENO Undressed”.


The message being not that you should turn up anticipating a Spencer Tunick nude photo shoot, but that you need not don any finery to attend a performance. Though the custom of getting dolled up in black tie seems no bar to near sell-outs at the various country house opera festivals around the country, sadly excluding the North East.

Still, something clearly needs to be done when I rank at the youthful end of the audience spectrum and the insidious cookies on my computer long ago decided that the most appropriate companies to advertise to me were vendors of pensions, annuities, equity release schemes and funeral plans.

Which is a mite disheartening when one has two children under the age of five. Perhaps I should make more use of my all but redundant Google Gmail account, which will apparently analyse the content of all my messages to ensure more accurate tailoring of the products and services I am most likely to buy.

For now, please let me try to persuade all of you, whatever your age, to give opera a try if you have not already done so. Don’t worry too much about when it was composed. The most enjoyable night I have spent in a theatre so far this year was at an English National Opera production of Charpentier’s Medea, first performed in 1693, but I also wholeheartedly endorse George Hepburn’s recommendation yesterday of Britten’s Peter Grimes, which had its premiere in 1945.

Medea, not Peter Grimes

There is much Britten opera around in this centenary year of his birth, and all of it is well worth your attention.

What is so good about opera? It contains some of the greatest and most memorable music ever written, performed by singers and players of truly staggering virtuosity. It has an ability to engage all the senses in a way that no other art form can match, and it indisputably constitutes one of the highest pinnacles of human civilisation.

Apart from which, it can and should be huge fun.

Buxton’s real secret may lie in the famed therapeutic qualities of its spa water. However, we should surely also consider the faint possibility that opera holds the secret of an exceptionally long life among its audiences, if not quite the immortality it bestows on its greatest composers.


Originally published in The Journal, Newcastle upon Tyne.

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Facing up to that overwhelming sense of time running out

I once found it ridiculous that nearly every mention of anyone in a newspaper should be followed by a bracketed reference to their age. Why on earth did that matter?

Today, Keith Hann (58) is completely nonplussed in the rare instances when this detail is omitted, because age provides the essential context for my reaction. An accidental death at 19 is almost always going to seem sadder than at 91.

Though if the 91-year-old met their end surfing on top of a train after downing a case of alcopops, it does make for a more unusual and arresting story.

I remember being mildly amused by the fact that my parents’ first port of call in their Journal and Evening Chronicle was always the “deaths” column; but it has now been mine, too, for many years.

I cannot recall exactly when death changed from being a vague, theoretical possibility to the central consideration of my life, but I suspect that it was somewhere around the age of 40. Perhaps it comes later for women, because Mrs Hann just laughs when I try to explain that some element of her forward planning is of limited relevance to me because I won’t be around to see it come to fruition.


It does not seem so long since I found myself similarly frustrated when suggesting improvements to a family property and being met with indifference on the grounds that “it will see me out”. Though in that instance the pessimists proved correct, as pessimists so often do.

Right now, Mrs Hann and I are juggling my desire to live and die in rural Northumberland with our work commitments elsewhere, and the knowledge that where we are living this December will determine where our older son starts his first school next September.

Buying a new home is not the simple option it once appeared, when a 25-year mortgage would run until I am 83 or, on the evidence of 300 years of Hann family mortality statistics, long dead. A fact that is evidently not lost on potential sources of such finance, judging by their marked reluctance to provide it.

The revolutionary iCoffin: surely the perfect last word for a PR man? (With acknowledgements to onceuponageek.com)

I have no life insurance, because what was the point of spending money on that when I had no wife or dependents to benefit from it? (Added to which, I hoped that more distant relatives and godchildren might greet the news of my demise with unadulterated sorrow, rather than as the harbinger of a lucky windfall.)

While my pension provision, thanks to the feeble performance of the stock market as well as my own improvidence, makes my retirement seem a more implausible fantasy than my three-year-old’s current concerns about the ogre that apparently inhabits a tree in our garden, or the tiger that regularly takes up residence beneath his bed.

The bottom line is that I find myself with responsibility for the future of two small boys and a strategy for their housing and education almost entirely based on winning the National Lottery.


Or, after 40 years of mainly scribbling for a living, suddenly coming up with the latest answer to Harry Potter or Fifty Shades of Grey. Realistically, I think we have far more chance of winning the Lottery.

But, as you read this, I will be sitting at my desk with my phone off the hook and my email inbox disabled, staring at a blank screen as I try to start the short book that someone recklessly commissioned two months ago, and which now needs to be delivered in just five short weeks.

I will be breaking off only for my long deferred annual check-up at the doctor’s tomorrow, which can surely only add fuel to my slow-burning fire of fatalistic gloom.

My book? Oh, it is a supposedly humorous short guide to opera, about which I know a little. Though my main hope, if I get it done, is naturally for a follow-up commission on my specialist subject: trying to work out how much time I have got left.


Originally published in The Journal, Newcastle upon Tyne.